Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
