guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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