Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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