sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
