come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
