just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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