I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
