I'm going to jail i love you
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
