my vag is so smooth its legendary
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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