At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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