lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
