Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
