How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
