After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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