in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
