Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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