Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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