Grow some girl-balls and come out already
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
