i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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