Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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