i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
