She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Terrible idea I love it
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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