My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Randomize
