the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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