The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
