eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
