Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
