brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
