Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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