so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
