people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
