i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
