farters have to be the big spoon...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
