Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
