haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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