garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
worst night to have a conscience
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
