what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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