Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
