Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
