i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
