I'm jealous of your bromance
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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