I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
