It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
