yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
