I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
