LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
