He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Oh god it's open bar.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
