Umm I'm too high to move.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
