Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
