i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
