I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
