Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
