rhymes with "ouble enetration"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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